instepwithcolleen

Recently I had a great epiphany, after a long day of trading stocks with my husband. It was one of those win-lose days, where you look at the balance at the end of the day, and realize  you made a grand total of seven bucks a piece. You look at your trading partner, and the only thing you can do is crack up. “Well, we didn’t loose!” It was at that moment that I realized how really lucky I was to have the chance to be sitting here with my husband laughing about making seven bucks a piece!

I have found over time that there are some real differences in trading styles. It is also difficult to blend those styles together, when you are married to your trading partner. It is difficult to keep the home disagreements out of the office, and likewise, the office disagreements out of the home. But the truth is, if you don’t work out some way to do this you are simply increasing a thorn in your couple life. I have seen some great marriages disintegrate because differences could not be resolved.

We were married YEARS before Leland and I began trading together. We had a history of making decisions, approaching  problems, arguing, laughing at things, and we knew the things we loved and hated about each other. I knew all the things that you don’t know about the guy you work with. When we  were going to start trading together, we thought it would be a great experience. It was like being a newly wed, and thinking that everything would be in the “Happily Ever After” column. Not reality folks.

Trading is like being a manic-depressive. You have highs where you are euphoric with your success, and you have the gut wrenching valleys that make you shake in your boots. The euphoria is always easy to enjoy. The valley is an entirely different beast. If you can’t navigate through a valley, you will soon loose your nerve, and ability to soar upward.

While my husband is very meticulous with the records, I take a more analytical approach to my trading. I look at curves, and volume, and of coarse listen to what the news is saying. I have also had many times that suddenly I just KNOW that the wind is turning, and we need to make a quick change in our trading. The result has been that generally you are able to keep one step ahead of the market, and you win more than you give up.

To me working the market is a lot like being an experienced ICU nurse. It usually takes about seven  years to be at the top of the heap, but when you arrive at that level, you know that the patient fighting against death will have a better chance of survival with you at his bedside. With stocks the individual who stays in the game, learns from their falls, and develops the skills along the way will find the market to be a pretty gratifying way to earn a living.

If you are  trading there is something that you have already probably experienced. Some adviser on CNBC tells you tomorrow the stocks that are going to be winners are X,Y, and Z. Smile, write the information down to check on it, but don’t trust what they tell you. I have become more tough skinned when it comes to the advice I listen to. As a matter of fact, I place it only slightly higher than tips I hear from the next table, where two business associates are talking about a stock. Do you get my point?

When I got my great epiphany I realized that Leland and I were working together and really enjoying it. It doesn’t mean that there won’t be disagreements next week. It simply means that I don’t have to get  a gold medal.  The goal is to win together.This means that there is another area that can unit you as a couple. I also discovered that we compete less. You are a team. You both want to contribute to a partnership that will enrich your marriage, and increase your job satisfaction.

My last bit of advise is this. If you are trading together use the strengths you each have. You will each contribute something that will help your business, and your personal partnership. Don’t let the stock market get between your relationship. There is a reason she has been given a female personality. I think she doesn’t give a rats tail whether you wreck your marriage or not. She is selfish, and self-centered. She can lure you away from each other, and make you think the way to happiness is by spending more time with her. Just remember this, if you don’t learn to live while you are away from her, your success will not be as enriching as it should be. Good luck in your trading. Until later…Colleen

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