Appreciation For What You Have In Life
Appreciation For What You Have In Life
I was talking with a young man the other day. He was cynical way beyond his mere nineteen years. He stood looking at me defiantly, as I asked him if he wanted to hold his son, Benjamin. His hands dug deeper into his baggy jeans pockets, and he shook his head “No”.
There were two friends who had come with Dad. I had ridden up the elevator with them, as an anonymous unknown. I listened to their snickered comments about what Daddy’s present pregnant girl friend was going to think when she found out. One poked Dad and in a joking way said’ “Yeah, but if one gives you crap, you can always go to the other to get a little honey. You know, play it. man.” At that point I exited the elevator.
The elevator doors closed and I knew that somewhere on the next floor up, some young fifteen year old, who didn’t have a clue what being a Mother entailed, had just joined the ranks of that oldest of callings. I felt disheartened to think of what the end results were going to be for this family group.
The elevator experience was the first encounter I had with this family.
Once I got to the intensive care unit I was introduced to the youngest member of this “family”, a cute little fellow with thick curly hair, swaddled tightly, to keep him from scratching his eyes out, screeching at the top of his lungs. His nurse had just given him his dose of morphine, and it would be about twenty minutes before he would get some relief for the withdrawals he was going through.
If my encounter in the elevator was disheartening, meeting Mom took my spirits down a few levels lower. At fifteen, Mom had advanced in her drug career at an above average rate. From “huffing” inhalants, “Sniffing” glue, smoking pot, using heroin and when she couldn’t afford that resorting to cheap, and easy to get meth. She’d had her first STD by the time she was thirteen. Her first abortion by fourteen, done her first trick for drugs a week before her fourteenth birthday, and had finally arrived here, looking at her first child going through withdrawals.
Trying to remain professional and non judgmental is not easy, even if you have been in nursing as long as I have. Yes, there is anger at the mother. Anger at the Father. Anger at the drug dealer. Anger at the Drug cartel. Anger at a system that is so accommodating to a parent that brings an innocent Benjamin into the world as a drug baby.
A few months after Benjamin went home with his parents, we learned that he died in a fire. His parents had set the fire while they were high on drugs. Anger and bitterness is what was felt when they were charged with negligent homicide instead of murder in the first degree. They didn’t get life, they got prison for three to five years, then they’d be up for parole. Life just doesn’t seem fair, does it?
So, when you get the urge to think life is REALLY overwhelming, think of little Benjamin. Most of us never realize just how much we have to be grateful for in our own lives. We walk through life and enjoy our friends and family. We watch the changing of the seasons. We are given much, and we can give much.
My last words are these, embrace every moment you have, and don’t ever forget the debt of gratitude you owe for the life you have. Just something to think about. Until later…Colleen
YOUR OPINION – Let us know if you liked this article, and whether you agree or disagree with it. Provide your comments here. This is an article I provided from my Husband’s newsletter site @ lelandpulleycompany.com. Stop by and see some of the regular articles provided. Remember, If you have any questions, dont forget to drop a note. Colleen
The Beaded Bracelet
Around my stethoscope hangs a small dull beaded bracelet. It has been there for six years. I was given the bracelet by a little girl who lost her battle with cancer. Whenever I look at the dull beads I am reminded of Alexanne, and what she brought into my life.
I cared for Alexanne over a two year period of time. I saw her loose a kidney, have her leg amputated, and held the bucket when she threw up after her chemotherapy. I was there for her blood transfusions, I was there when she stood looking out of the window when her white blood cell count made us place her in isolation. I was there during it all. I was there when she finally couldn’t fight anymore, and took off the bracelet and told me take care of it. I was there when she died, and I was the one who took the red balloons from her room and released them, as the rising sun streaked the sky in pinks and golds. I stood there and watched the balloons as they drifted higher and higher until I couldn’t see them anymore. I thought of how Alexanne told me she was going to be in charge of the snow, because she wanted everyone to be able to lay in the snow and make snow angels.
the last night of her life I curled up on the bed with her, and told the unresponsive girl in my lap, the story of Cinderella. I knew that this was Alexanne’s favorite story, and this night I read it, knowing would probably be the last time she would heard it from me. I told about the wicked step sisters tearing her gown, and how they laughed as they went off to the Ball. I told of the fairy godmother who created a coach from a pumpkin and coachmen from mice.Then I told Alexanne that the fairy godmother touched Cinderella’s dress and it turned into a beautiful blue gown with matching blue shoes.
I paused the story as a weak nudge and a tiny whisper came from Alexanne. I leaned in and a little voice said, “The dress is red.” Iforgot that Alexanne’s favorite color was red. Then, a little voice brought tears to my eyes as she whispered, “Wear a red dress and shoes when you say goodbye.” Those were the last words little Alexanne spoke. Six hours later she was gone.
Alexanne’s life was short. she was diagnosed when she was five, just before school started. She died when she was one week before her seventh birthday. But this little girl packed every second with laughter, and jokes, and even when the bad days came, and there were plenty of bad days, she got through them.
The beads on her bracelet marked the good days, they marked the the bone biopsy, they marked the transfusions, the marked when her blood count was high enough that she could play in the day room with the other kids, and the last black bead mark when her cancer had metastasized to her brain.
Alexanne and her family drew strength from one another. They faced the experiences they were given, and became stronger. The people who were touched by the chance to care for Alexanne were blessed far more than the heartache they felt at her loss. She made us all a little better, and certainly showed us that even a little child can teach us the way to live life to its fullness.
I told the other nurses Alexanne’a request for red dresses and shoes to be worn to her funeral. As it turned out of the more than 1000 people who came to say their goodbyes to Alexanne, there were many red outfits on. Instead of flowers, the front of the chapel was fill with red balloons.
After we left the chapel we went into a feild at the back of the church, and about 3000 red balloons floated slowly up, up,up. Even as the last reds faded out of sight, we stood there. Finally, we walked away in silence, each of us pondering our own mortality, and committed to live our lives alittle bit better.
Six years later the bead bracelet is still with me. It reminds be to strive to be the best that I can be. It reminds me that when things seem to drag me down, there is always hope for a brighter day. It reminds me that it is what is within that makes us great. And it reminds me that I can do what ever is placed before me.
I just thought you’d like something that shows you what is REALLY important in life. Think about it folks. Until later…Colleen
You Must DO, If You Want To Realize Your Dreams
The New Year is upon us. It is the time to DO something that will help you achieve what you want from life. You have only yourself to blame if you never make an effort.Is this what you want to remember your life as? Do you want to look back, and ask yourself, Why was my life so forgettable? Why was I so afraid to step out of the little cave I had created for myself? You need to ask yourself,” Do I want to live here in this comfortable little cave? It’s a safe place, and I won’t get hurt, but it’s so much smaller than what I am!”
If you do not decide to act upon your dreams you will stay your same small self. You will never be the eagle soaring. You will never feel the wind under your wings as you climb over the high mountains. You will never be able to see the beauty of the valleys. You will never sit on a beach and watch the setting sun as it turns the sky pinks, and golds, and reds. You will never experience what you know you really deserve out of life unless you take action and make that desire and dream a reality.
Here is an example. I went to a conference several years ago with another nursing colleague. One of the speakers was talking about getting the most out of a career was only able to be realized, if you also put the effort into getting the most out of your personal life. For my friend this was like an epiphany. She had become very successful as a nursing manager, but to get there she had sacrificed time with her family and friends.
Over dinner that night she suddenly broke into tears. Just before she left on the conference she had found out her breast cancer had returned, and a bone biopsy had confirmed that it had spread to her spine. She said, all my life I have always put nursing first. I have a wonderful husband, two beautiful children who are married, and three fantastic Grandchildren. Now I won’t have the chance to really do the things I always thought I’d like to do.” I looked Liz in the eye and took her hand, and squeezed it. “Liz what was it you wanted to do?” She didn’t hesitate to tell me. I always wanted to take my enitre family, in-laws, and grandchildren, and go to Costa Rica. But that’s out now.”
‘Why would you say that? You are feeling good enough to come to this conference. If this is what you always visualized yourself doing, then you need to sit down with your husband, then together begin planning this great adventure. That is what the speaker was talking about. Do this for you and your family. You have dedicated years caring for and nurturing other families during family crises, now it’s time to care for your own family.”
Liz and I returned home after the conference, and I saw her in the halls of the hospital. She looked radiant, as she spoke to me. “Well, I want you to know how much I appreciate what you told me. When I sat down with my husband he agreed with you. This is something I have always wanted to do, and next month it is actually going to happen. My kids are excited about it. I have a new video camera, and I am beginning to write in journals, I have started for each family member. I know this will be the greatest gift I can leave with loved ones.”we hugged, and Liz left.
I was so happy for Liz. Happy that she had taken charge of her life, and decided to Do something that would fulfill her dreams. I was smiling to myself when I received a call from Liz’s husband,about a week before they were to leave. Liz had been killed. She was driving home when a driver turned into her lane and hit her car head on. She had been killed instantly. “I wanted to call and tell you thank you for suggesting this trip to Liz. She was a wonderful person, but it just seemed other things always stood in front of anything she wanted for herself.I wish we could have had this trip together, but I am grateful we spent the time talking and preparing the last few months. Her radiation treatments had been leaving her pretty weak, but talking about the trip would always lift her spirits. Thanks again.”
I sat stunned after he’d hung up. It didn’t seem fair. Why couldn’t she have at least been able to go on that trip. She had been someone who had been a giver her entire life. Then the epiphany came to me. Life can only be lived moment by moment. You may think you have been handed a death sentence, but in reality it is only a maybe. You live your life the best that you can, you take the joys, the love, the laughter, and the tears along the way. evaluate your life and make sure you feel satisfied with it. Be sure you don’t feel your life is forgettable. Make sure you share your love and laughter with others.
Liz’s family had decided to take the trip to Costa Rica. They took her video camera, and her journals, and filled the pages with their adventures on Grandmother’s Trip. They took her ashes with them. On the last day of the trip all of them hiked to the top of a high mountain, and over looking the green valleys below , they had a prayer, and scattered their mother’s ashes. I hope everyone will have the opportunity to realize some of the dreams they have been waiting until “Someday” arrives. Just something to think about…Colleen
New Year’s Eve In The Hospital
As some of you know I am an RN who works in the neonatal intensive care unit. Last night, New Years Eve, I returned to work after a foot injury. It had been almost three months since I had been in the unit. Obviously I was happy to get back to my home space, and catch up on the gossip in the department. Working 7PM to 7AM you get the scoop on everything.
I spoke once about being in charge of your finances. I had mentioned a nurse in her late fifties who was unaware of how her retirement account was being handled. This same individual is a diabetic. She is what is called a “Non-Compliant” diabetic, because she eats what she wants, then uses her insulin to control her blood sugar levels.
It is very hard for me to have much sympathy for someone who is in her situation. Both of my parents were insulin dependent diabetics, and my two brother, and two sisters are also insulin dependent diabetics. I am the only one who has not developed diabetes. One of the things that I do, knowing that I have a high risk factor is take care of myself. I eat very little foods with refined sugars. I eat as close to an American Diabetic Association Diet as I can.
If you have diabetes, or have a high risk to develop it, you should use your computer, and google everything that there is on the disease. Many of the problems you can develop as your disease progresses can be minimized.
When I was working in an ICU I began taking graduate classes. Because I needed a work schedule that allowed me to go to school, I took a position in the Acute Dialysis Unit, at my hospital. I was surprised to learn that 1. Kidney disease is the only Federally funded, and regulated disease. 2. 50% of all dialysis patients are diabetic. 3. The major reason diabetics develop kidney disease is non-compliance. 4. non compliant diabetics have a higher risk of loosing their sight.. 5. Diabetics that do have kidney disease have a higher probability of having a limb amputation. 6. You have a higher probability of developing cardiac disease if you are diabetic. 7. Many diabetics develop what is called peripheral vascular disease. This means that your blood does not circulate as well as it should. This means sores heal slowly, and you have a higher risk of developing an infection.
The nurse I work with is a prime example of the non compliant individual. She is about sixty pounds over weight. She doesn’t follow a diabetic diet. She doesn’t exercise on a regular schedule.She misuses her medications. All these things will increase her risk of eventually loosing her sight, developing kidney disease, or having an amputation.
I have never met a diabetic, who has finally developed all these problems, say they are happy with their poor health, and they love being blind, or stuck on a dialysis machine three days a week . The other part to that is few of them are willing to change their diet, increase their activity, or be in charge of their illness.
That is one of the reasons people who have chronic diseases can be some of the most bitter, rude, and obnoxious individuals to deal with. They resent the fact that their actions have led to where they are now. Because of this they feel that if their life is messed up, then maybe yours should be too. I have had people spit at me, try to bite me, knowing they have hepatitis, or are HIV positive. I have dodged feces and had to put a diaper on someone who wanted to urinate on me.
If you are finding out that you are at risk for something like diabetes, do yourself, and your family a favor, try to do everything you can to understand, and decrease your risk of becoming insulin dependent. I hope this information is helpful. Until later…Colleen
Unsterstanding Your Medical Conditions And Using A personal Medical Coordinator Or Advisor
So, I was reviewing with a woman her health history, and all the different medications she was on. As she talked, I jotted notes. I set every medication bottle I could find in her medicine cabinet, drawers, or purse on the table. There was quite a collection. Drugs for thyroid, drugs for irregular heart rate, drugs for low blood pressure, drugs for chest pain. Drugs for back pain, leg pain, hip pain. There was isulin for her diabetes, some she was suppose to take every morning, some if her blood sugar was high. She also had drugs to help her relax, sleep, and of course excedrin, aspirin, peptobismal, tums, antihistamines, and an asortment of creams and ointments. She was prepared for “ANY” emergency she might encounter
I was there because she had asked me to set down with her and help her develop a good medical plan. It wasn’t that she was old (I certainly don’t consider 64 old)! And she wasn’t slow, in fact she was a university professor, and taught English. She simply wanted me to work with her as an advisor. And that’s what I was doing. Not there to replace anyone or anything, simply make it work better for her.
She also had several different physicians. One endocrinologist following her thyroid condition, her gynecologist following her female problems. Who had also placed her on a mild antidepressant, a cardiologist who followed her heart problems, and then an internal medicine doctor that followed her general aches and pains, and managed her yearly check up, which included a colon check( professional for seeing if you have any cancer of your bowel developing.
The first thing I noticed was that since all these doctors were caring for specific issues, none of them were really coordinating any of their treatments. Dr. A wanted blood work for her heart, he sent her to lab A on Tuesday. Dr B wanted to see her for a check on her diabetes on Thursday, and she needed to get lab work from lab B Wednesday. By the way, in ten days she was due for her mammogram, and Pap Smear, and needed to make an appointment for that. Her endocrinologist wanted to see her in three days to discuss some medication changes for her thyroid. You get the point.
First thing I did was start separating this pile of medicines from one another. Diabetes, heart, thyroid, drugs from the gynecologist, and from the general internal medicine doctor, as well as anything she had from over the counter. It was like a Smorgas Board!
I seperated her health issues into pieces, and then we began talking. What was her doctor’s name? How long she’d had the problem? How often did she see her doctor? How frequently she needed labs? , and then I asked her how she felt about this particular problem. This is actually an important question to think about, because if you don’t have any real feelings about it, you increase the chance that you won’t be compliant to your treatment plan. I see this all the time, especially with clients that have diabetes, or heart conditions.
All this information went into my notes. Then I simply started going through the drugs. Some of them were out dated. She had some that had been discontinued, several of her over the counter drugs worked directly against a medication prescribed by her physicians. I told her I needed to review her data, and I would see her in about two days.
Two days later we met, and this is what we came up with1. Jean needed to take the 1 1/2 inch binder I presented to her, to every appointment she went to. 2.She needed to ask her doctor every time if any of the medications she was taking interacted with the medicine he or she was prescribing.3. She needed to offer to her specialist a list of all her doctors, what they were treating her for, and the medications they were giving her. 4. She needed to try to work out a schedule so she could coordinate all her lab trips, and appointments, so her life could fit around them. She needed to make sure THEY fit around the activities that she enjoyed.
I have been surprised at the number of people who have never heard of a medical advocate. It is well worth the initial fee, depending on the complexity of your medical issues it can be $50 to$300. But that isw a pretty small amount, if you feel like you are a little more in charge of your life.
Once I sat down with a man in his early thirties. Most of the things that he was using were over the counter drugs, and he didn’t have any problems. So I simply made a plan for him for when he needed things like a tetanus booster,discussed why he should get a pneumonia shot yearly, I also told him that he may want to consider getting a hepatitus series, since he liked to do some international traveling.
When I was finished, I handed him a folder with his information in it,. It held a list of who to call in case of an emergency, what medicine he took, and the immunization records he had provided me with. I told him to add any other information he felt was necessary, such as financial records,or insurance policies. I told him whenever there was a chance something could happen to him, he’d want someone, a parent, a brother or sister, or a partner to know what they needed, to make a discision. This info could easily be packed into his belongings and taken with him when he traveled, so some foreign care provider would know who to call in an emergency.
So you can see that using a medical coordinator or advisor can be as complex or as simple as it needs to be.
A personal medical advisor can work with you over the internet as well. I know some who for a monthly fee, allow you to contact them with questions, Since they have your health history they can often help solve problems. You may want them to coordinate a schedule to remind you to get your perscriptions refilled. Sometimes that alone can avoid many problems, since some medications should not be stopped or interrupted. They can tell you when to make appointments for routine lab work. If you provide some with names and number, they may even make the appointment for you, and call in your perscription.
If you have any questions about when and whether you want to use a medical Coordinator, or advisor, send me a message at instepwithcolleen@gmail.com, or simpley ask your question here and I will answer as best as I can.
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